I usually post a musical blast from the past on Tuesdays. But it's called time travel and I figured, whatever, as long as it's not now, that fits the bill. So in continuation of yesterday's post, I give you Secondary School Me.
Here I am with two of my best friends. Can you guess which one is me?
As I metioned yesterday, my "clique" didn't fit the stereotypes. And neither did I. I was very oblivious to peer pressure. At 13, I got myself a bad reputation. I was walking on a public road with a 19 year old guy (who later became my boyfriend). It was the two of us, another girlfriend of mine and two of his male friends. Somehow that simple act of walking on a public road (maybe holding hands- I forget) turned into "OMG! She's sleeping with that old guy!" (I never did sleep with him- in case you wondered, but clearly that didn't matter.) I stopped caring what people were saying. Because obviously the truth had no role in it.
I lived for me.
In school I hung out with who I wanted to, people who made laugh and who I had fun with. I played the sport I wanted to- field hockey, not cool by any stretch of the imagination, but the one I enjoyed nonetheless. In Sixth form, I chose the subjects I wanted to do- Computer, Management and French- even though the teachers were like, "What are you going to do with that combination?" (teach English in Japan would not have been my reply.) I went to the movies I wanted to see. "But sixteen year olds don't watch animated Disney movies on the big screen!" Well, you know what? I do!
For a long time, I thought everyone was this way, just living for themselves. Apart from the people who were obvious examples. The "popular" kids. Because they had to live up to expectations to be popular.
This is who I am. And only after years of clashing with people over it, did I realise, people do have a lot of value for the opinions of others!
I care about whether or not I've done the right thing. Others worry about whether or not people know they haven't.
I care about being healthy. Others worry about looking good.
I care about enjoying my life. Others worry about pleasing those around them. (I know that sometimes this is a bad thing in me.)
I care about travelling the path I feel God intended for me to be on. Others worry about doing the sensible thing.
I keep myself happy. I watch the movies I like and read the books I like- even if they're intended for 12 year olds. I hang out where I feel like, do what I feel like with my free time, live where I want to, study what I want to...
And I've been that way since 13. I've been through a ton of changes, but I've come full circle and I could be twins with 13 year old me (except for 80 pounds gained- UGH).
This is a big part of the reason the two novels I've "completed" are YA. I don't feel like the person I was in school is well represented in YA. Seems like only fantasy novel MC's can be confident. I beg to differ! That was just not who I was.
THIS is who I am. And who I was!
Who were you in high school? Who are you now?
4 comments:
Ok, its definitely you on the far right with glasses. I laughed out loud when I saw that pic.lol Your smile makes me happy...is that weird? It's so infectious.
I wish I had been more confident in high school and cared less what people thought. If you asked anyone I am sure they would say I was very confident but I was cocky and a major smart ass to cover my insecurity. I am so much more comfortable with who I am now. I like me and that's really important...because I can't break up with myself.
I was very shy in high school & didn't have many friends. Now I'm more comfortable with who I am. And like you care about what's important to me, not others. I'm still shy, but have a few good friends and that's enough for me.
Back in HS I was an outcast, bullied, misunderstood, insecure. Sadly most of that is still the same.
The major difference between then and now is teh support system I have in my life. I also have a better grasp on my health problems.
But a large part of me is still stuck in HS.
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