Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Watering the lawn -MoMM

22 by Lily Allen
When she was 22 the future looked bright
But she's nearly 30 now and she's out every night
I see that look in her face, she's got that look in her eye
She's thinking how did I get here and wondering why

It's sad but it's true, how society says her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
'Til the man of her dreams comes along
Picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

I heard this song for the first time yesterday in my step-grandmother's car. (Forgive me if it's been around forever. I live in Japan so my perception of things from the rest of the world is seriously skewed.) My first thought was "Wow, that's depressing." But then I thought it was, as Lily herself asserted, "sad but it's true."

As females, from the minute we pass 25- earlier for some, later for others, we start feeling like we should be at this point. We should be married, or at the very least be involved with the guy we're going to marry. And we should have a child, or be in a relationship which will produce a child in the near future. And if we're not, we can hear this clock ticking, like a large biological time bomb.

It's not so bad for me, because I have a son, and so, I'm not thinking about the fact that I have 7 reproductive years before I put my child at higher risk for Down's Syndrome. By extension, marriage shouldn't be etched in my mind, since I already have a child, and I'm living the life, even without a husband. Still, I here the clock.

And even with not particularly female issues, I hear the clock. I look at my friends who graduated secondary school with me and have their Masters or Doctoral Degrees, my friends who are accountants, lawyers, doctors, etc. And then I take a little peep in the mirror. Just a teeny-tiny one, because a full-on stare is scary. A 28 year old unmarried, Assistant teacher living across the world from home, in a semi-permanent arrangement. Freddy Krueger move over- I am my own worst nightmare!

And when you pile it up that way, who wouldn't feel like the woman in the song? Who wouldn't want to go back to 22, and cram as much in as they could?

And then I stop myself. Okay, I'm unmarried. AND in a job with a maximum of 3 more years. AND living in a country where I don't want to spend the rest of my life. AND with just a Bachelor's degree in French and Spanish to my name. AND with nothing in particular in the bank...


I have a beautiful, brilliant, zany son
I've seen 6 of 7 continents
I speak 5 languages
I live in a country half the Western world wants to visit
For pete's sake, I am typing this at my step grand-mother's computer in Western Australia having just completed my first surf lesson!

And then, I think, my life is kinda cool.

Sure the grass is always greener on the other side. But you can bet your last goanna that someone, somewhere is looking at your lawn and thinking, Damn, I wish I had it like that!

And you know what? You do! You do have it like that. So enjoy it. Live it up! As Samuel Selvon said in "A Brighter Sun", "What is to is, must is."

I still hear the clock ticking.

Tick -tock. Tick-tock.
What have you enjoyed today?

Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
Are you seizing every moment of every minute?

Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
Did you water your lawn today?

Tick-tock. Live!

(PS- I'm still in the bush and on a dial-up connection- so no pix, and I won't be on often :( )


MediaWyke said...

Hmmmm, So I just came across this, in searching for the exact line from A brighter Sun, started to read this and was like wow, this is sooooo me!! Thanks for the inspiration. It made my day!

Claire Dawn said...

Thanks Media!