Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Empire State of Mind

What's on my mind today? State of mind.

My empire state of mind, by the way, has nothing to do with the Empire State as in Jay-Z's and Alicia Keys' song, but a little to do with Japan. And since we actually have an Emperor, we must be some sort of empire...

But, as a friend of mine would say, I digress...

So today I came to work and looked at the schedule. I had to teach 1st and 2nd period and I'm free the rest of the day.

Now, let me explain a little of my teaching situation to you. I teach at 1 Junior High (12-15 yr olds), 2 elementaries and 1 kindergarden. Except for kindergarden which is always at 11.00 whenever we're there, my schedule changes every time I come to school. And I never know my schedule til I go to a school for the first time that week. Tuesdays and Wednesdays I'm at JHS, so I at least know Wednesday's schedule a day ahead of time. I find out Thursday's schedule at 8 am on Thursday and Friday's at 8.25.

Well, today I looked at the schedule, and my brain processed it, 1st two periods and then off. Then the school nurse came to me and asked if I could teach the nurse room kids. (It's a long story. I'll try and remember to include it in Friday's post.) And it offset my day. I was a little annoyed and grumpy.

Why? I mean, it's not like I don't have 4 free periods today. When I was teaching at home, I would have killed for 4 free periods in one day. And it's not like I don't only have one class tomorrow. And I'm being paid to sit here sans internet (just hijacked a cable from the teacher who sits next to me, because she has a class now) until 4 pm. And I don't actually have to prepare a lesson or nothing.

I just have to go to class. And have a 50 minute conversation. In my native language. Seriously, it's really no sweat off my back.

So what was the problem again?


I came in and saw a plan. I was to do x thing at x time, and then I'd be free. And even though I really have nothing I have to do in the 5 1/2 hours of free time I was scheduled (other than edit my novel), my brain got used to that plan and was not thrilled to change it.

Makes me wonder how many other times we have problems that are entirely in our minds? How often ware we annoyed, disgruntled, miserable, sad, (insert negative emotion here) over nothing? And how often could we be happy, but choose not to be?


Jon Paul said...

Yeah--I think you're onto something. We've been stressing lately about this upcoming move and I tell ya, it's not really a big deal. We have a ton of time and it won't be THAT hard, but somehow we still find a way to make it hard.

I sometimes have the same problem with writing. Those are the not-so-good days.

Claire--nice post, per usual.

ElbieNy25 said...

For me I fret about the cleanliness and order of my house. My house is not dirty by any means, just a bit dusty. It coudl use a good scrub down for sure. And MOST people come into my home saying how beautiful it is (unless you're my parents and they practically white glove test it). So I get a house is not a musuem blah blah blah yet I still stress over it. Silly silly girl I am!

Marsha Sigman said...

I can get in a bad mood over a lot of small things (last minute schedule changes make me crazy) but I tell my husband to just give me some time. I can usually talk myself out of it within half an hour. I have a lot of internal conversations.

Tawna Fenske said...

Excellent point about choosing your mind-set. I'll admit I tend to be an obnoxiously positive person, but it grates on me when my husband comes home from work and launches into a laundry list of everything that went wrong with his day. I've tried urging him to start off telling me three things that went RIGHT, but alas, that mind-set is hard to break!