That's so gay!

RANT WARNING!

So I just read on the Contemps about a big furor over Vince Vaughn saying "That's so gay," in some movie. (Disclaimer: I lovesies the Contemps, and this is nothing personal against them or the poster. Just my views. As always.)

I personally don't have a problem with calling something so gay. Or so retarded. Or so ghetto. Or so whatever you can think of. But as people keep pointing out, I tend to be in the minority when it comes to dealing with other people. Personal tendencies aside, here are some arguments for why I would leave a line like that in a book or movie.

1. They are just words.

This is why it doesn't bother me. They could just as easily make up a random word and insert it into the sentence. I've only ever heard "That's so..." phrases being used in a light context. Jocular. It's very different to saying someone is gay in a negative way. And pretty often you find that the sort of people who use these expressions are just regular people who have nothing against gays, or differently ableds or ghetto people.

It's like the difference between a group of black people referring to their friends as "my ni**as" and someone spraypainting NI**A on my front porch.

2. It's true.

I don't mean that whatever Vince Vaughn was talking about was gay. I don't even know what he was talkign about. I mean that it's a true respresentation of life. When I hear these arguments about not including x or y in media, I ask myself this question. How much is the media supposed to influence real life, and how much is it supposed to reflect it?

3. It's true (part 2).

Like I said I don't know what Vince Vaughn was talking about. But let me tell you a little secret about stereotypes: they are very often based on truth.

Quick example:
A man sees a man in a hot pink pants, and exclaims, "That's so gay!"
We survey 10 men who've worn hot pink pants and 9 are gay. Therefore we can deduce, that for a man, wearing a hot pink pants is "so gay."
(Seriously ask your male friends, and let me know how many have left home in hot pink pants. Please don't do this with Japanese guys, rappers or pimps. Your results will be seriously screwed.)

And I'm not going to pretend that there aren't negative undertones with the association of certain things and "that's so gay!" But really what's wrong with a straight man thinking that being perceived as gay was negative? A proud gay person doesn't like being taken for straight either.

4. You still have to smell the daisies.

I read an email about ten years ago, which may or may not have been true, about Bill Gates on a school visit. The details are sketchy, but here's the gist: he said that all the coddling in school was going to make it harder for kids when they graduated.

Let's take "No Child Left Behind." (If you're not American, that's an education program which basically slows a whole class down to the progress of the slowest children. That's an oversimplification, but for my purposes it will do.) So these kids, they go through school with nothing being too much harder than what they can handle. And then they get out into the real world, and it hits them for a home run. Life is not waiting on them. They get thrown in the deep end. And they have to figure that out quick. Or get left behind.

Painting an inaccurate picture can only make it harder when the time comes to face reality.

5. Omission can actually be a negative.

Enter imaginary teen who's struggling with being gay, but afraid to tell his friends:

"I am so unhappy. I wish I could talk to someone. But my friends would never accept me. I cringe every time they say "that's so gay." I could never tell them who I am. Even the people in movies and books never say stuff that cruel. Hello ledge. JUMP."

Don't believe it could happen? Go talk to the 13 year old anorexic who's got a picture of a size 4 Photoshopped model on her wall.



What do you think?
Should books and movies tell the whole truth? Or only the pretty parts?
Should we protect the children from everything regardless of their age? Or should we teach them according to their age? Or should we just through it all it them, good or bad, sink or swim?

P.S. I am normally a very openminded person. But I've had it up to here (my eyebrows) with people going on and on about leaving things out of the entertainment media. It makes me want to scream! Stop worrying about changing the media, and start working on changing THE REAL DAMN WORLD! Excuse my French.